Stand Jokes

What does “JETS” stand for?

Jihadis Eradicating The Skyscrapers.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

Could it be ligma?

Ligma balls, daddy!

Stairs.

Stephen Hawking can't stand stairs.

Me going to the principal's after telling the kid with a wheelchair to stand up for himself.

Your arms are open. They stretch towards me, Reaching, grabbing, pulling me, Surrounding me, Drowning me in my helplessness. Time standing still, inside here. Looking through windows, time passing by. Let me go, will ya?

I love Steven Hawking’s stand-up comedy!

I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!

What do you call an emo kid standing outside the mall?

Anything, he'll cry no matter what you say.

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

Stand in the corner.

"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."

You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔

Why couldn’t the bike stand up? Cuz it was too tired.

Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.

A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.

I've started playing the triangle for a reggae band. It's pretty casual.

I just stand at the back and ting.

What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?

The Twin Towers.

After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.

The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.

Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH