I went to a stand up show with the person who made my like a joke
The married are on holiday on Italia. They look at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. He says: - Look, honey, this tower is crookedly standing She: - Shut up
(Standing means: penis erextion)
What do you call two micahael j fox's standing next to eachother?
Parallel Parkinson's
Why are feminists jealous of men?
Because men don't have to stand up to piss.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves
What does the initials bible stand for? Bull In Book Lacking Evidence
Did you know the letter "F" in orphan stands for family?
Two girls are at a play and are about to go on the stage.
Ally before the other girl gos on stage: break a leg!
Rachel: alright!
On stage, Rachel trips over a stand and breaks her leg
Rachel calling backstage: I broke my leg!
The streets go blank in the dead of the day not a car to be seen A kingdom of corona-cation and it looks like moms the queen The wind is howling with this virus in the air Couldn't keep it in china everyone knows it's everywhere Don't let friends in don't be afraid Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal don't feel your insanity That the virus caused!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors! I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friends house Sickness doesn't get to me anyway. It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane And the fears that once controlled me are here and present oh well! It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through! No right no wrong but stay inside! WERE NOT FREEEE!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! Cause I have nothing better to do The virus flurries through the air into my house! The storm is spiraling fear and fractals all around!! And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!! What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past???? DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DONT LET IT GO DONT LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT CAUSE THATS WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd? A hipster!
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend she cant stand for her self
Why does Steven hawkings only do one liners?
Cause he can’t do stand up
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
The M and D in orphan stands for Mom and Dad.
why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Why did the people think Stephen hawking was disrespectful? Cause he didn’t stand up for the national anthem
What does NASA stand for?
Not A Space Agency.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Florida: Homemade Taco Stand
California: Homemade Lemonade Stand
Alabama: Homemade Abortion Stand
There was a man he came home with his friends from the bar and man; was he ever wasted. Their friends made sure to get him home safely the next morning he woke up and found blood all over his night stand he called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
