Sports jokes
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
Your forehead is so big, it looks like I did a drag back on FIFA.
Michael Vick is coming to town, hide your dogs!
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
What do you get when you put 2 nuns and a blond on a football field? 2 tight ends and a wide receiver.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
I hit a ball with a bat, it was called animal abuse.
Why are the Chinese bad at baseball?
Because they ate all the bats.
At baseball practice...
"Hey John, did you bring the bucket of balls?"
"No, but I got two right here."
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."
How is sports like regular life for orphans?
They don't get picked for either.
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”