Sports jokes
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Why can't Jesus play hockey?
He keeps getting nailed to the boards.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What do you call a girl with no legs? Sarah.
What do you call an Olympic gold medalist skiing? Not Sarah.
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
Don't worry about missing a shot after yelling "Kobe". He didn't make it either.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find their home base.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked. "I'm a Paralympian," he replied. "Boxing?" "No, ... hurdles."
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
How do you know when a football player has been to jail?
When he goes in a tight end and comes out a wide receiver.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.