Sports jokes
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your wife needs Jon Grudon, too.
What is a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game?
Before the first period.
I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.
What do I call a white person with 15 black kids?
Coach.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
If Shaquille O’Neal had a boat, he would’ve named it Freethrow, because he will never sink it.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
Why didn't the koala make the football team? Because it got diskoalafied!
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
Why don't Indians play baseball?
Every time they reach a corner, they make a shop.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...
I wanted to play as Kobe in my console, but the game crashed.
Your hairline so far back.
Even LeBron James had a good laugh!