Sports jokes
Someone stole my balls :(
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't run home.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
What did the helicopter say?
Helicopter: "Kobe!"
Arsenal
Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?
Because they don't like Dick's!
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
He said he like Neymar so HIT THAT BOY LIKE FROM THE BACK!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can never find home.
After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.
Shit, if somebody invades America, the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go.
We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets has become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out?
Hell, the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit, Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have Comedy Central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the United States. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause there is no home to run to.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What do you call a tall terrorist? Labomb James.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.