Sports jokes
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on juan.
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
OFFICIAL
Pionnel Pessi's tracklist leaked!
1. Neymar gave me a career. 2. Lewandowski finished me. 3. 8-2 4. I own Elche. 5. I am a fraud (ft. Pyllian Mpappe) 6. 10m 7. I fled La Liga 8. Want to be Ronaldo. 9. Long live Bolivia. 10. Wind man
Who’s the hottest girl in the world?
Babe Ruth cuz she catches the sun.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't reach home.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
Ball so hard! 😂🤣
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Which Pokémon do soccer players like the most?
GOALduck.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.