Sports jokes
My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.
My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? Because she ran away from the ball.
Why did the Columbine High School basketball team lose the big game?
Because they lost their two best shooters...
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
Cleveland Browns
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
What is Osama bin Laden's favorite football team?
The New York Jets.
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find a home.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"
Why can't gay people play Baseball? They can't throw the ball straight.
Your forehead is so big, it looks like I did a drag back on FIFA.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.
A day in the life of a Biden voter.
$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.
No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.
$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.
50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.
No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.
Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.
New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.
Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.
Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.