Sports jokes
What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?
Ice Cube.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
A lion, Johnny Depp, and a hockey player from Nashville all have one thing in common.
They're all Predators!
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.
BROOO BAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH
What is an animal that is always at a baseball game?
A bat! 🤣🦇🦇🦇🦇
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
If you don’t get it, a Chinese woman ate a bat and she got the coronavirus (I think).
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
How do you light up a football stadium? With a football match.
Don't be sad if you miss a shot when you yell "Kobe." He didn't make it either.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because he can't find home.
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What’s the difference between football and rape?
Women don’t like football.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!