Sports jokes
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
What bee doesn’t fly properly?
Kobe.
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
Q: What’s the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
A: One got to finish a race.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause there's no home base...
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Why don't rappers ever play baseball?
Because they're too busy dropping hits!
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?
New York Jets.
A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.
However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.
So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.
He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.
The man replies, “No.”
The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”
The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”
“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”
“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.
My cousin really loves baseball.
He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
Why can't the orphan play baseball?
Because it doesn't know where home is... *sniff*
What is Africa's most famous sport?
The Hunger Games.
If you take a shot, a paper wad, in the trashcan, and call "Kobe!" but miss, it's still a Kobe.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there would be no home base.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.