Sports jokes
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
When I went to the basketball pitch, I saw a man dribbling his own balls.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What was the first sport played on the moon?
Capture the flag.
My pansexual son was asked to form a sentence with a word "Carry" on his zoom class earlier on today and he said "Pessi was carried by Iniesta and Neymar to his Mickey Mouse UCL". He received a standing ovation. Children are our hope and I'm proud of the education system!
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
Hey guys, wish me luck on my game Al-Nassr vs. Raed Al-Raed. I have 604 million followers on Instagram, but we are not gonna be able to beat that. Can we get to 69 followers, please and thankyou?
A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 1800s?
Master.
What do you call an older white man surrounded by young black men in the 2000s?
Coach.
I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.
My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What is a Mexican person's favorite sport?
Cross country.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.
I was at my lecture at Oxford. Professor Albert Pessistein was leading the lecture, teaching us new equations. I asked where I can find a drink, due to my dying of thirst. He said, “big games my friend.”
He then proceeded to teach us, “The greater the Big games, the higher the Bottling!”
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
Wheelchair soccer is just IRL Rocket League. Change my mind.