Sports jokes
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
What do you call a white man surrounded by black men? Coach.
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.
Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Why can't Hitler join track?
Because he can't even finish a race.
BROOO BAHAAHHAHAHAHAAH
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Why does Michael Jackson like football, baseball, and tennis? Because of the "balls".
Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?
Because he successfully finished a race!
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
He turns, he shoots!
And that is a horrible end to the Grand National...
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't go home.
What is better than winning gold at the Para Olympics?
WALKING!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is. :)
Want to hear a joke?
Ohio State football.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
Comment your favorite sport.
Why are orphans bad at basketball?
Because they don't know where home is.
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart. Don’t let me down again, please.
People told Kobe to fly high. Look what happened.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.