Sports jokes
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
They can’t find home.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
why was the bad baseball player so good at bowling?
He kept making strikes.
The coach of the Detroit Lions had put together the perfect football team. But then his quarterback got blindsided and was out for the season with a knee injury.
Then his backup went down with a concussion. He tried the trading route, free agents, but nobody any good was available.
One evening while watching the news from Iraq, he saw a young Iraqi soldier with an amazing arm. The soldier rifled a grenade on a perfect arc into a 4th story window from 100 yards, bam!
He tossed another directly into a tight group of 12 enemy fighters 80 yards away, ka-bam! Then a humvee passed, going 60 kph, boom! Another perfect shot!
Coach said to himself, "I got to have this guy. He's got the best arm I've ever seen!"
He tracks him down and convinces him to come to Detroit. The kid takes coaching perfectly, makes all the plays, and long story short, the Lions win the Super Bowl.
The Iraqi is now the Conquering Hero in pro football, and a huge story. But when the broadcast team tries to interview him, all he wants is to phone his mom.
"Mother," he yells over the phone, "We just won the Super Bowl!"
"Don't talk to me," the woman says. "You abandoned us. You can't be my son."
The young Iraqi begs, "Mom, you don't understand! Our team won the biggest game here in the U.S. Thousands of fans are screaming for me. The U.S. President is going to call me!"
"I don't care," his mother snaps. "Right now I can hear gunshots everywhere. Our block is like a ruin. Your brothers were beaten half to death last night, and your sister was nearly raped."
Then she says, "I can never forgive you for making us move to Detroit."
Q: Why can't orphans be on a football team?
A: Because they won't know where to go on a home game.
What are Mexicans' favorite sport?
Cross-country
When Cincinnati played Alabama in 2021, they wore black at their funeral! 🤣
Eibar-Man! Eibar-Man! Does whatever a ghost can.
Scores a tapin With Xaviesta’s assistance. Misses a pen From close distance.
Lookout! Here comes the Eibar-man!
Why was the stadium so hot?
Because all the fans left!
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
Why do orphans love tennis?
Because it is the only place they can get love.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
"Why is it that orphans only play tennis?""That's the only love they can get..."
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
Why can Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat.