Sports jokes
What's a lesbian's favorite sport? Dodgeball.
What type of bee can't fly...
Answer: Kobeee!
I want to make a joke about Kobe, but it won't land well.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
Q: What is a box's favorite sport?
A: Box-ketball.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
They don’t have a home to run to.
There was a blind man in WWE, and the commentator said, "Watch out! Watch... Oh, he can’t see." After he was sued for national offense.
What's the similarity between your mum and West Ham?
Your mum blows spunk bubbles from her ass.
What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?
Cross-country.
Are you a sports car? Because you give my heart quite a rush!
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
Stop making jokes about Kobe.
Did you hear the scores of the African basketball game?
It was Eight-Nothing.
Why are people so good at basketball? They can run, steal, and shoot!
I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!
"I'm very good in sports."
"In which sports?"
"EA Sports."
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.