SOS Jokes

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.

It wasn't that funny.

So I just Snickered.

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.

Yo mama so ugly, she had to ask Satan to help her give birth!

Yo mama so fat, her swimming is Sea World.

Why is drinking soda so sad?

It's soda-pressing.

Friend, you so faaaat.

Me: Boy, at least I'm not built like a Nintendo Switch.

Yo momma so stupid, she pooped in the shower.

Why do kids have school every day? So that they can learn.

My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

So I saw a 15 year old kid near a 15 year old girl checking her out.

Then I told him, "What are you doing?"

He told me he will decorate her locker, donate a lot of money to her, and buy her a lot of stuff.

He then told me how easy would that be?

I told him: "That sounds pretty SIMPle."

My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43, 43, 43. A kid walks up to the man and says, "Why are you saying 43, 43, 43?"

The man stops and looks at him, then he starts jumping again and says 43, 43, 43.

The kid asked him again and so on.

Then the man stops, opens the pothole, throws the kid in, closes it, and starts jumping and says 44, 44, 44!!!"

If Red gets voted out, what happened?

Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"

Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"

Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"

Lime, Green, and Purple run.

Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.

Black killed Red. Black is the win.

LOL