SOS jokes

Yo momma's so fat that she got married to diabetes!

Why are orphans so scared of the dark?

The dad can't check the closet for them.

Yo mama so fat, her weight is angry grandpa's subscriber count.

You're so fat your ass has 2 zip codes.

Your butt looks so big, it's bigger than Sam Hill.

Yo momma so fat, I took a picture of her 1 year ago, and it's still printing.

Hey, I broke up with your girl.

-Me: What? Why?

Wait, what?

-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.

I got so bad about cutting myself every time I went to the bathroom, I wanted to break my jacket zipper off and use that!

Me: Hey, Mom? Why do we celebrate birthdays?

Mom: Because that's the day a new life was born, and people are born every day so every day is a special day.

My thoughts: And my friend wonders why I have depression...

Your mumma so fat she takes up 4 seats of the sofa.

Your mom is so fat that she thought Eminem is a candy.

Yo mama's so fat that the earth used to be flat before they buried her.

Yo mama so stupid that when the mirror cracked, she tried to order another one.

Yo mama's ass is so fat it has its own congressman.

How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.

Yo mama so stupid that when she went to see Fast and Furious 8, she was bringing her car to the theater.

Once I heard a joke about chocolate the other day.

It wasn't that funny.

So I just Snickered.

Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.

Why do brides wear white?

So they match the kitchen appliances.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.