SOS jokes

You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.

Took my receipt to the sperm bank so I can get this comeback.

Once I got one so big, they were going to make 9/11 2.0!

You're so fat when you told your mum and dad, even they laughed!

I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.

And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."

Yo mama so fat that when she fell on the concrete, nobody laughed, but the concrete cracked up.

Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.

You're so poor, you like postcards for food.

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Yo hairline so ugly, when you go to school you fall on a line.

My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!

My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.

My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.

My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.

When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.

Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.

Your mama is so stupid, her phone died, so she buried it in the backyard!

Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.

Boy, your forehead so big, I can make a launchpad on that shit!

Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!