SOS jokes

I'm so good at talking to myself but not to others.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

Why are priests so bad at racing? They are always in the 'little behind'.

Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

A farmer told me that he wanted a couple of acres, so I punched him in the teeth.

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!

So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.

Your momma is so fat that when she egged the Twin Towers, she threw a airplane on accident.

Yo mama so fat, she was the lead balloon in the Thanksgiving day parade next to Kermit the Frog.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the Super Bowl, she brought a spoon.

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

So, one day Kylin Banks was playing football. Then he saw Violet. After he saw her, he got bricked up. Then he ran after her and rubbed his pickle all over her. She was so happy.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say bye!

My bad, but you stink so bad you passed by a trashcan and it yelled, "Wow! I didn't know I had family!"

When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.

So big that when you step, you break the whole galaxy.

You're so poor that you die and go to the backrooms.