SOS jokes

Noose

"Do you have a noose?"

"Nose?"

"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."

"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"

"No."

*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*

Mama

Your mama is so ugly, when she went to the circus they thought she was Pennywise, Mom.

Mum

Your mum is so stupid, when she went on your phone it got fat.

Memes

Hitler

There was a kid and a historian in a museum about WW2 and were looking at Hitler in a car doing the Nazi salute. The kid said, “Why is he putting his arm in the air?” The historian said, “Indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the Third Reich!”

Job

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

Bank

I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.

Orphan

Why was the orphan so successful? They said "go big or go home," but he could not do the second.

Forehead

Your forehead is so big that it's a 20 dollar taxi ride from your eyebrow to your hairline.

School

I barged into a Halloween party at my school with my air-soft AR-15!

I was so scary, EVERYONE ran away!

Reaction

There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.