SOS jokes

You're so ugly that when you walk past the toilet, it flushes itself.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

You're so ugly your mirror shattered.

I saw that my brother has brain cancer, so I asked him: "Are you big brain?"

You're so ugly, you make onions cry.

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your mom gay, And so are you.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.

Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?

Why was the orphan so successful?

When they told him, "Go big or go home," he/she only had one option.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.