SOS jokes

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

SEX Some Event Xaern

Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?

"I wanna sock in the eye so bad!"

Why was the stadium so cold?

Because of all its fans!

Yo mama so fat that when she attempted suicide, she bounced to Area 51.

Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.

Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?

He couldn't find home.

Yo mama so American, she deported Dora the Explorer!