SOS jokes

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.

So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.

Yo mama so fat that she had to wear a yellow jacket and everyone shouted, "Taxi!"

Why do risky people have cats?

So they have 10 lives with them.

Why does Helen Keller use her left hand to play with herself?

So she can moan with her right hand.

Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they couldn't run home.

When you're so rich that you can buy anything, you end up getting a cow in your living room. Yeah, anyways, my ex is still in my living room.

So I had an idea: you and a friend go bar (pub (whatever you call it)) hopping and propose to said friend in each one so everyone buys you free drinks and you get drunk and have a great time.

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, I finally had to take his bike away.

So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.

SEX Some Event Xaern

Xaern - loving something so much you begin to dislike it.

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(

"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"

Yo mama so hairy, you almost died from a rug burn!