SOS jokes

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

Yo mama so fat, when she landed on the earth, the earth cracked like eggs. LOL.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back! 🤣

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!

Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!

Why is the cheetah so fast?

Because it can't walk slow.