SOS jokes

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

So, unfortunately, I got kicked out of the library again because, for some reason, they say that books on women's rights don't go in the fantasy section.

I walked into an orphanage and asked a kid why they were crying.

They said: "Because I lost my parents."

I said: "Let's find them."

They cried harder, so I walked out of the orphanage.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.

Joe Mama so fat that when Santa came to our house he said, "Ho ho HOLY SHIT, she damn thick."

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy, but Jack was in shock with a mouth full of cock, 'cause Jill's real name was Randy.

I love orphans, so at least they know someone loves them.

"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.

He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

Your hairline is so far back that Green Lantern became Blue Torch.

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

Why did people invent glow in the dark condoms?

So gay people can have lightsaber duels.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

Your hairline is so far back it became a case.

One time the dog got bit by a snake, so my dad had to shoot it. My dad said to me, "This is what's going to happen to your little brother." "What little brother?" Exactly.

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Your mom so fat, Thanos had to clap!