SOS jokes
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks; they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa's clock; the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock?"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "πβΌβ ββΌβ β‘βπ π§ββΌββππ§ βΌββββ β βπβ"
I raped a girl and I liked it.
I hope my girlfriend won't mind it.
It felt so wrong, it felt so right.
Don't mean I'm in love tonight.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!
Memes
You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!
Why shouldnβt you call people in China?
Because there are so many Wings and Wongs you might "wing" the wrong number.
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and went right.
My kids told me to have a good day, so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the best.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.
Your smile is so nice that the moon shines off them.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama is so dumb that she went to the eye doctor just to buy an iPhone.
Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
This humor is so dark, it's darker than the Black population.
Why are vegetarians so good at giving head? Because theyβre used to having nuts in their mouth.
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."