SOS jokes

Blonde

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Jessica, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Fat

You're so fat, when you step on a scale it says, "To be continued."

Orphan

Why do orphans like to be robbers in cops and robbers?

So they will be wanted.

Pilot

I'm a pilot and my boss told me to fly people to New York, so I flew them to New York and hit the towers. That was a tragic story.

Memes

Incest

My family is lucky I was born so smart. Every time my Dad is struggling at work, he always turns to me when he needs to get ahead.

Mama

Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off.

Tower

Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Because they already lost two towers.

Mom

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Tag

Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.

Orphan

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the aisle.

Momma

Yo momma so fat, whenever she goes to the beach, the tide comes in!

Politician

Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?

His name is Vladimir Pootin.

Wheelchair

Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.