SOS jokes

Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

I wish my grass were emo, so it would cut itself.

Wow, why so many of the same joke?

Yo mama so stupid, when her phone dies, she buries it.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because his options were to go bigger or go home. He only had one choice. :)

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," He was just asking her to move.

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

Why are women’s feet so small?

So they can stand closer to the sink.

You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."

Why are all Asians so skinny?

Because last time there was a fat man a whole population disappeared.

Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"

Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."

Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.

Every time someone calls me fat I get so depressed I cut myself...

A piece of cake.

Yo mama so fat, when she passed by the TV, I missed a whole season of SpongeBob.