SOS jokes

I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...

They just seem so forced.

PERSON: I need to go so bad!

TOILET: Long time no pee!!!

Why did the orphans like church so much?

So they had someone to call father...

My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.

Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

So you can watch the expression on their face.

Why are orphans so skinny?

They never eat anything that is family size.

Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

These jokes are so dark that their life matters.

when is rape wrong on so many levels?

inside a lift.

Don’t cry when you attend my funeral, I was dead long ago so why cry now?

Why does Sans like puns so much? Probably because he finds them humorous.

Would you like to eat some African food?

So would they...

Why did the orphan rob the bank?

So they could be wanted.

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.