SOS jokes
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!
2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!
3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!
4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!
If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!
Are these good?
Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek?
No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
I'm gonna stop telling rape jokes...
They just seem so forced.
Memes
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
Yo mama is so stupid, because when she gave birth to you, she asked for a receipt!
Why did the orphans like church so much?
So they had someone to call father...
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Patient: Oh, doctor, I’m just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don’t worry. Mine too.
What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?
“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”
Your dick is so small it's the size of a tic tac. Oh, that's why your mom's breath was so fresh last night.
Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?
So you can watch the expression on their face.
Jesus said to his disciples, "Go forth and ye shall receive eternal life." Thomas came fifth, however, so he only got a toaster.
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.