Why do cops never put orphans in jail?
Because they aren't wanted.
Society Jokes
Question: What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"?
Answer: After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
What do emos and apples have in common? They both hang from trees.
A man was about to go into the bar with his dog when he realized the sign said, “No pets allowed!” He was about to walk away when another guy walked up with his dog. The 2nd man put on dark shades and said, “Just pretend you're blind!” He walked in with his dog, got a drink, then left.
The 1st man did the same thing, but when he walked in, the bartender said, “You know your ‘guide dog’ is a chihuahua, right?”
The man said, “They gave me a damn Chihuahua?!”
What has 2 legs and loves to play with little kids? The local priest.
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What is the difference between an orphan and a watermelon?
One of them is picked.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
Where can't orphans park?
Parent child.
Why do police never put an orphan in prison? It's too much like a home.
Why did the Twin Towers go to Uber Eats?
Because they wanted something plain.
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
The 11th of September is considered 9/11 in America. The Twin Towers fell on 9/11 in 2001, but to call an emergency in America, you dial 911! 😮 You could say they dialed that correctly.
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"
The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"
He said, "No, because you're black."
