What did the homeless person get for Christmas?
- Nothing.
Two pedos are on the beach.
One pedo said, "Hey, get out of my son!"
How do you start an Ethiopian rave?
Stick toast to the ceiling.
We cut and kill flowers because they're pretty.
We cut and kill ourselves because we are not.
Muslims love to exaggerate, that's why they always blow things up.
For pedophiles, watching teen porn must be like watching mature porn.
Why does Jesus never vacation on Earth?
Because he traveled down about 2,000 years ago, got with some Jewish chick, and they're still talking about it!
What do you call a short black person?
By their name, you racist!
What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his house?
He was snowed in.
Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
Yo mama is so classless, she could be a Marxist utopia.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she goes into a bank, they turn off the cameras.
What's the number one pick up line at a gay bar?
"May I push your stool in?"
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
Wipe his ass.
