Newest Soccer Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

whats the same about a newborn and a football? you can kick them both very easily.

Why can't a girl with no legs play soccer...Because she's a girl.

Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!

I was playing football with my friends and i got tackled and got a penalty suddenly the ground started shaking and penaldo emerged from the mud and he till the penalty but since it wasn’t andorra he missed. Shame on you penaldo!

Cristiano Clapnaldo woke up FEELING DANGEROUS against Real Sociedad 🥶🥶

- 0 tapins 😍😍 - 0 assists 🤩🤩 - 3/3 dives 🤯🤯 - 0 key passes 🥵🥵 - 2 big chances missed 🤡🤡 - 1/4 dribbles 💀💀 - 2 Offsides 😤😤 - 27 claps 👏👏

Better than Elanga? 🥶🥶

I kick a soccer ball at someone in a wheel chair now were playing rocket league

What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.

What’s the best form of contraception? Being a soccer fan. 😃😃😃😃😃😃

Why did Jesus play football

He was Spanish ayo

ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG

Give me freedom Give me fire Give me contract Or I retire

Jog all day Out of UCL now FC Barcelona I need you now

Villarreal defenders They surround me Big submarines All around me

I get upset Call my agent I want money I’m impatient

9/11 also known as the day football stoped

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.

I was on the Official Cristiano Ronaldo website, when suddenly my Anti-Virus software showed an alert on my screen! The notification read "WARNING: FRAUD DETECTED!" I was shocked but not surprised. Penaldo has been finished for years after all, and he often ghosts in big games.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

You caught a Penaldo! Description: Penaldo, the finished statpadder. It is said that Penaldo drains the energy of its teammates and sells underwears. Type: Ghost type Moves: Dive Disappear in big games Cry for pens Statpad vs farmers Sells underwear

🎵Penaldo Thrills🎵 C’mon c’mon turn the VAR on It's Penalty time and it won't be long Gotta dive and cry some more It's Penalty time and it won't be long ‘Til I Hit the floor and dive alot Cry some more and dive alot. that all i need, because I got u my love, Penalty.

What do u call a guy in a wheelchair playing soccer

Rocket league! (Ali A Intro) I like men Wanna smash? Suck my balls Im in class as I'm posting this ass joke This joke sucks terribly Honestly just like and leave Add me on discord IceyTrae#2230 Lebron>MJ