Sleep Jokes

What are you doing son.it has been an hour and you are still in front of the mirror closing your eyes.

Mum actually I want to see how I look while sleeping...

Kenny's favourite part of living in his mom's basement is sleeping with the landlady.

i watch my parents sleep with a knife in my hands. only got caught once.

What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?

An Oreo

What do you call a school bus driver that keeps going to sleep? A monster

Stephen Hawkins death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

What do you call a school bus that you can not drive? A friend

I would like to die like my islamic father, in his sleep. But not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

hows your dad what I forgot he still sleeping

My ex died in an anchorage accident. She always was a sleeping hooker.

if depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with a huge amounts of autism that would be me

A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter, he approaches her and says "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion but I was curious to know if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady smiles and says "That's a lot of money, of course I would." The doctor smiles and says "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?" The young lady says "What are you joking? That's no money at all, Of course I wouldn't, what do you think I am?" The Doctor smiles again and says "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."

I aced my poker test...

my teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...

A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffee-n...

do you get my puns... no, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...

Yo mama so fat that she need 12 queen sides matresses to go to sleep

Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe, till there all black and blue!

(Classic)

Mom! I think that dad is sleeping Mom: no honey i killed him.

This kid was going to sleep and h said night mum night dad and night gramma and bye grandpa next morning grandpa died and the next night he said night dad night mum night grandma and gramma died the next morning and the next night he said night mum bye dad and they heard the postman died bc he was the dad lol