Knock knock. Who's there? Ligma. Ligma who? LIGMA BALLS!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
I went to the market to get eggs, and my sister thought that I meant my balls.
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
When people mean "phat feast," they don't mean fat.
When yo mumma says "phat," she means FAT but thinks she's cool!
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
How ISS greets their friend.
"You the BOMB!"
Why did the Duck go to rehab?
Because he was a Quackhead.
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
What do you call a nut on a wheelchair?....A busted nut.
What gang was Stephen Hawking in? The Crips.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
pussi
