Sisters jokes

I nailed my sister's... picture on the wall.

You dirty-minded bastard!

My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!

Three blonde sisters die and are told by an angel that in order for them to go to heaven they have to pass all 100 steps. But each step has a joke, each joke gets funnier and funnier. And in order to pass them all, you can't laugh at any joke or else you go to hell. The blonde girls accept the offer.

So the angel begins telling them the jokes. One of the girls laughs at the 3rd step. The second blonde laughs halfway there. Finally, the last blonde was at the 100th step. The angel said, "This is the last step. If you laugh you will go straight to hell with your sisters and if you don't you can pass." The blonde agrees and the angel starts to tell the joke, "What do you ca..." Out of nowhere the blonde starts bursting out laughing. "Why are you laughing? I haven't even finished the joke yet!" The blonde replies, "I just got the first joke!"

What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!

How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.

How do you circumcise a redneck?

You kick his sister in the jaw.

What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?

Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.

Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.

Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.

I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...

My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

Sometimes I feel ugly, then I think of my sister and get over it.

"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."

My daughter is the most adorable little girl in the world. She's got my sister's eyes.

My sister told me a joke.

All she said was "my life."

Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a virgin."

Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a virgin until last night."

Kid 1: "As if."

Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."

Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."

Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."

What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.

My mom said to take out the trash bags, so I did. And the next day, my mom asked, "Where are your sisters?" I said, "In line to get crushed."

My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."