Sisters jokes

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...

Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."

Went to my friend's house, fucked his sister.

I had a fun funeral / birthday.