Sisters jokes

What do you call a grown up with your sister? Your best friend.

My sister's boyfriend is pissed cuz I fucked his girl.

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

Did you know Helen Keller had a sister?

Neither did she.

When my dad left, he said he would bring back the milk, but 20 years later he only came with my new sister and eggs. And I confronted him, and he said, "I used all the milk to make your sister."

My family is like an apple tree. My sister is that ugly one that has to rot in.

I went to my sister's room one day. I saw a trophy, so I asked my sister how she won it. My sister said the neighbors gave it to her because she gave out the best hand jobs in the neighborhood. I guess my sister put her hands to good use.

My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.

Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.

How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."

Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

Pick up lines.

"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"

"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

Sometimes I feel ugly, but then I think of my sister and I feel better.

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

So Kenny finally found his one true love.

But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.

*Watches sad movie with family*

Everyone else: *Crying*

Sister: How aren't you crying?

Me: I have no tears left to cry...