Sister jokes

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

A buddy and I checked out some books from a local library. When we returned them, he said, "Your sister works the returns, right?" I told him, "Yes, she does, and she will be here in about five minutes." He said, "Why don’t we put a cookbook in the women’s sports section?" I told him, "I love it!" So I picked out a Reese Witherspoon book.

I'm dyslexic. My sister was reading, "What's the book?" I asked. She showed me the cover. "You reading 'The Scared Bull'?" I asked. She started laughing. "No, 'The Sacred Bull'!"

My sister looks like Santa Claus.

"You are so pretty?"

"No, too many people!"

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

What do you say if you want to borrow your black sister's foundation? "Got any lighter shades?"

Sometimes I look around and all I see is two fat cheeks in my face and say, "Too mushy apples."

My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.

I gave my sister a compliment and said she's pretty, then while she was saying thanks, I said, "pretty ugly."

Me: You are pretty. Her: Thanks. Me: Pretty ugly.

What do you say when you sister's annoying you?

Go oasis (go away sis)!

Sister.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Terrier.

Terrier who?

Your Halloween decorations are terri-fying!

A project where people get lined up to be changed.

When she says "parents aren't home" so you rush upstairs.

What should I call a burger?

A cow burger.

What's the difference between you and your sister?

Your dad.