Short jokes
What does a gorilla attorney study?
The law of the jungle.
#GOODBYEGWEN
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A. Ask your mother.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.
How did Gertie Gorilla make the Playboy magazine?
She was ape-ril!
What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner? A kong-vict.
What is a gorilla's favorite cookie?
It's chocolate chimp.
I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
Why can't orphans celebrate Christmas?
Father Christmas left them.
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
Two (DYM 112)
My dad went to go buy milk, but he walks as slow as my grandmother.
My grandmother is paralyzed in the legs.
When did I realize COVID was serious?
When I saw your teeth social distancing.
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
Dude, I lied.
What do you call an annoyed octopus?
Octopissy.
I see you.
I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.
Snapchat: @colin_green21