Shes jokes

My friend came over to my house. He asked where my girlfriend was, and I told him she is in the garden.

He said, "That's weird, I didn't see her." I said, "You have to dig a little."

Yo mama so fat, when she went swimming, they found water on Mars!

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

You're so ugly that when your mama had you, she tried to give you away, but there was nowhere to give you.

Your mama's so fat that when she went to space, there was no space left.

Your mama's so ugly that when she looks in the mirror, you can see Micah.

My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.

My 3 year old sister kept saying, "I like your cut, G." Every time she does, I dodge and close my eyes, but she's the one who always ends up running.

One time there was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track. A girl said, "Excuse me, can you move, please? I'm trying-" Then the man stopped her sentence and said, "How is your t-shirt so clean?" Then she said back, "Easy, hung it up."

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

Why did Cleopatra bathe in milk? She couldn’t find a cow tall enough to have a shower.

My mom told me, "You son of a b!tch." I told her, "I may be a son of a b!ch but at least I am not the bitch." She hated me forever.

When she saw her first strands of grey hair, she thought she'd dye.

So, she went to see the "You Should Be Shot" Photography Studio.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my other girlfriend.

She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.

Q. Why didn't Tracy Latimer enjoy her trip to Vancouver?

A. She had to go to GasTown.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.