yo mama so stupid she shoved a battery up her but and said ̈I GOT THE POWER ̈
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend so I fuck her, turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about. And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her but this time it was her Identical triplet. There 3 of them.... AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me and we went for a run.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit the kids thought they missed the school
Your mama so fat when she stepped on the scale it said "to be continued"
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
*Me walk into the nail salon* Hi I'm here for my 3:45 appointment *nail tech* ok sweety come and sit down *Me sits down in the chair* *nail tech* you want long nail short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. ok. *gives me short nail* bro I asked for long nail. But you said bf but u look lesbian* walks out without paying* *nail tech gives money to a customer* there u win. *customer* I told u she would
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution. (Consentual)
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
A man is consoling his nine year old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted,
"You need to be more careful" he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
My friend went to buy so milk, why is she not back yet?
I have a short TRUE story of how i found out my brother was gay and did "it" with his best friend. when my brother was 12-13 years, he fucked his best friend and i saw it. i was like 4-5 years UNDERSTANDING what "it" stood for at the time. all i heard was "ahh" and "mmm". the only thing that traumatized me the most was when my brother moaned "daddy". i was so traumatized that i told my mother about it, she rolled her eyes and said, "he's probably playing a game with Evan". BULLSHIT.. NO YOU DUMBASS. he was playing the game "SEX". more like "GAY SEX". I even told my father and he said, "I don't understand what you're trying to say". I told him DIRECTLY that i heard my brother say "daddy" to his damn best friend! i actually got so curious, i opened the door and saw then doing "69". i was blank white after i saw it. i will NEVER forget that he did "it" with his own best friend.. NEVER forget about it. (just a btw i still have the image stuck in my head and never forget how YOUNG he was..) (he ain't no virgin not more i guess lmfao.)
(MORE STORIES COMING SOON =D)
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realises I've replaced the bed with a trampoline !
yo momma so fat when she farted the Big Bang occurred
My girlfriend told me she used to be a Christian I ask her why she isn't anymore and she said she liked the name Christina better
yoo mama is so fat she jump on a trampoline and she broke it
yo moma so fat she eat 60 big macs wall singing badaaha
My sister told me a joke.
All she said was my life
Your mama so old she made a book bigger than the bible about her life
Your mum is so fat when she was sitting on a scale the number couldnt even fit in the scale and came shooting out
Your mum is so fat when she was on front of my apartment i couldnt get in
