She Jokes

Accident

Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."

Teacher

A note for My arts/health teacher:

oh ms aziz, you've got no rizz, all she do is screams, whether u like it or not, she thinks this makes her hot, she thinks this makes her pop but it just makes me want to crack her head from the top, until she says STOP, and down on the ground she goes plop... and her screaming has finally stopped, and my plan hasn't flopped thus far.... plan B is ram her with my car, fill her shoes with tar, and the prahnas i'll set on her go RAWR... she don't know what she coming for.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she went to space and there was no space left.

Joe mama

Joe mama so fat when she went to the movies, she sat next to everybody.

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time, please."

Joe mama so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."

Mama

"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."

Girl

One day I was at school, and this girl had the nerve. She told me to go to the back of the line. I was looking behind me, and she said, "What are you looking for?" I said, "To who [are] you talking to, boo boo?" Like, is you you my momma?

Baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Thatโ€™s the ugliest baby that Iโ€™ve ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off โ€“ go ahead, Iโ€™ll hold your monkey for you."

Sister

I asked my sister to say something.

She said, "No."

That's what I like to hear.

Noise

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl๐Ÿฆ‰

Teacher

How do you prevent a physics teacher from drowning? Shoot her before she touches the water.

Yo mama

Yo mama is so old that when she was in history class as a kid, all they learned about was themselves!

Yo mama

Yo mama so dumb that when she went to Starbucks, she thought she could buy a star.

Mama

Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Mama

Yo mama so fat, she can't go up the elevator; she can only go down.

Mama

Yo mama's so stupid that when she went to the Super Bowl, she brought a spoon.

Car

A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.

The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."

The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."

The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."

The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."

The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."

The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."

The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."

Peepee

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

Momma

Yo momma so dumb that she thought Auradon was in "Varian And The Seven Kingdoms."