Shadiness jokes

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

Dear Slim Shady,

balls.

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?

What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?

Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.

I don't trust trees...they look shady.

What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?

Slim Shady.

NEWS: A man kidnapped a 13-year-old girl.

MOM OF GIRL: The man had a shady face and a receding hairline.

Question: Why can't you trust a tree?

Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

I can hear thunder outside, which I find weird since the lightning is on my arm...