Seven

Seven Jokes

Number

So we all know why 6 was afraid of 7, because 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? It was in between 9/11.

NASA

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!

  • 6
  • Sprite

    I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.

    But I got seven Up.

    Class

    I was reading this in class and laughed at loud, i had to clear all my history of jokes

    A yellow minion with one eye and blue overalls stands on the left. To the right, there is a text that begins: "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals..." and continues with a long, aggressive monologue.

    Ad

    Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”

    Person 2: “Seven.”

    Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”

    Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”

    (Based on an encounter I had recently)

    Dwarf

    Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

    Mom

    Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?

    Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.

    || 20 YEARS LATER ||

    Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?

    Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.

    Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.

    Cancer

    Man with cancer: How much time do I have left?

    Doctor: Ten.

    Man: Weeks? Months? Days?

    Doctor: Nine, eight, seven...

    Sex

    There was one girl. She met 5000 guys. She had sex with each of them seven times. She became... - flip screen (=).

  • 3
  • Lawyer

    One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”

    Difference

    What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

    I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

    Wife

    I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

    Quote

    Quote from Seth no.1: "I would have fought back, but she was seven."

    Bad Luck

    Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!

    Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!

    Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)

    Sex

    A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. “I don’t want to know!” Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears.

    Confused, his father asked Little Johnny what was wrong. “Oh, Pop,” Johnny sobbed, “For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. And if you’re telling me now that grownups don’t really have sex, I’ve got nothing left to live for!”

    Mom

    Mom: Anna, let your younger brother have the sled one half of the time, and you the other half. That way it will all be fair, and I don't have to put up with this crying. I've already got seven others to take care of.

    Anna: I do, Mom. I have Fred (younger brother) go up, and I go down!

    Mom: Good. Now how 'bout the rest of you go play outside? It's beautiful out there! It's the warmest it's been all year, 45 degrees below 0!

    Kids: Wow! I never thought it would warm up! I love Alaska!