Self perception jokes

Friend: Your life is a joke.

Me: No, jokes have meaning.

I'm weird.

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

Here’s a joke, go look in a mirror.

Me. I am the worst joke ever.

I wish I could be as visible as my depression is.

I'm a turd.

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

I am cool.

Hahahahahahaha!

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words...

"Lazy."