Self Perception Jokes

Sex

If sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with four people is called a foursome, I guess now it's clear why everyone calls me handsome.

Roast

I would roast you, but your mirror does it every time you look into it.

Consideration

After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.

Mirror

Let’s say there’s a person who should have never come to exist. How would you find them?

A: Look in a mirror.

TV

Hi guys, I am so happy and proud of myself and I thought I should share with you! Today I saw myself on TV when I turned it off.

Man

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Luck

I must have at least 87 years of bad luck; every time I look in the mirror, it breaks!

Orphan

They say people are 75% water.

But I’m 75% an orphan and 25% useless.

Girlfriend

My girlfriend is so fat, she looked into the mirror and said, "Woah, there are two of me!"

IQ

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.