Scientist jokes

What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?

reCAPTCHA

What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?

Hot wheels.

Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?

You have to look down to see him.

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?

A. Because he has excellent string theory.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

How do u know Stephen Hawking is having a seizure?

He spills coffee on his iPad.

What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?

Stephen Hawking's coffin.

What did Steven Hawking say when the WiFi cut out?.........Nothing.

A project manager, a mechanical engineer, and a computer scientist are on a road trip through the mountains. As they're going down a pass, the brakes suddenly fail. The car goes off the road and crashes down into the valley. A bit dazed, the three of them get out.

The project manager says, "Well, the best thing to do is to have a meeting and assess the situation."

The mechanical engineer replies, "Nonsense, I have my pocketknife, I'll fix the brakes with that."

Then the computer scientist comes along and says, "Why make it so complicated? Let's push the car back up the road, get in, and see if it happens again."

What was Stephen Hawking's last meal?

Meals on wheels.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.

What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?

Windows shutting down.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.

What do you do with a dead scientist?

You barium.

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal? His left shoulder.

Stephen Hawking shows up to a car meet-up.

What do you call Stephen Hawking's wife? Siri.

Now touring: Stephen Hawking unplugged.