Scientist jokes
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
What did Stephen Hawking's computer say when he died?
"ERROR"
Q. Why is Stephen Hawking so good at air guitar?
A. Because he has excellent string theory.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
A scientist discovered water on Mars. Mars 1, Africa 0.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
Why was it cold in Stephen Hawking's house?
Because he had a new window open...
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
Who is Stephen Hawking's wife?
The American Siri.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
Why are cheetahs the best animals?
The cheetah is the fastest land animal in the world. They can reach a top speed of around 113 km per hour.
A cheetah can accelerate from 0 to 113 km in just a few seconds.
Cheetahs are extremely fast; however, they tire quickly and can only keep up their top speed for a few minutes before they are too tired to continue.
Cheetahs are smaller than other members of the big cat family, weighing only 45 – 60 kilograms.
One way to always recognize a cheetah is by the long, black lines which run from the inside of each eye to the mouth. These are usually called “tear lines,” and scientists believe they help protect the cheetah’s eyes from the harsh sun and help them to see long distances.
Cheetahs are the only big cat that cannot roar. They can purr though and usually purr most loudly when they are grooming or sitting near other cheetahs.
While lions and leopards usually do their hunting at night, cheetahs hunt for food during the day.
A cheetah has amazing eyesight during the day and can spot prey from 5 km away.
Cheetahs cannot climb trees and have poor night vision.
With their light body weight and blunt claws, cheetahs are not well designed to protect themselves or their prey. When a larger or more aggressive animal approaches a cheetah in the wild, it will give up its catch to avoid a fight.
Cheetahs only need to drink once every three to four days.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the wall.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.
Why did Steven Hawking not go to heaven after he died?
He could not get up the stairs?