Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
What's the difference between Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed to death?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Scientists found water on Mars, mars-1 africa-0.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
I was both shocked and amazed to hear Stephen Hawking kicked the bucket.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
Stephen Hawking isn't dead, he's just can't walk to the shop and get new batteries. 🙄
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Why did Stephen Hawking go to hell?
Because he couldn’t climb up the stairs to heaven.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
