Science jokes
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
Why did Stephen Hawking stop playing hide and seek with his wife?
She kept getting the metal detector out.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
Yo mama so fat, NASA used her stomach to jump to Uranus in seconds.
Yo mama is so fat, she has her own personal gravity.
Did you hear about the astronaut that stepped in gum and got stuck?
He got stuck in orbit! Hehhehe.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
What did one astronaut say to the other astronaut after landing on the Moon?
"Ah! And people thought we were moons!"
Did you hear the story about the eel? It was shocking! 😂😂😂😂😂
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking pass? Because he couldn't pass "I'm not a robot" test.
What do astronauts 👩🚀 do when they’re on break?
They eat launch. 🚀🥪
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
What do you call an old snowman that survived till summer?...
Water... yup, water...
Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.
But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.
All real chemists know that alcohol is always a solution.
I did this chemistry joke yesterday, but I didn't get a reaction.