Science jokes
Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
Your nana gay, just like you, and you're made of atoms, nerd.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His core i5 Overheated. XD
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips 😂
Did you ever walk into Stephen Hawking's house?
Answer: No, neither did he.
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite toy as a child?
Hot Wheels.
What do you get when you cross a cow with a fish?
A genetically unstable animal that is impossible and would die instantly upon existing. If it could live, it would be a deformed, parasitic tumor that undulates through people.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"