School jokes
Poor kids in American schools, they want books, but all they get are magazines.
A Catholic school is burning down. One of the priests says, "Save the children, save them!" Another priest says, "F*ck the children, we're gonna die!!" The last priest is like, "Hmmm... do we have time?"
Yo mama's so stupid, she took a Covid test and got an F.
What do you call a group of sped kids with AK-47s?
Special forces.
So, as a school shooter, I try to remember my ABC's. A, B, C, D, E, F, GUN!
And I basically stop at G, since no students ever speak to me about the rest.
School Bully: How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have any!
Me: How's your parents? Oh wait, you don't have any! *Continues to burn down orphanage*
What is the difference between a preschool and my basement?
Little kids leave preschool.
When your grades get mailed to your house when you expect to get them in school.
When you get home, your mom is there with the belt, going 1k miles per hour.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
My sister is the weird dark one and emo of the family. I'm the bright happy one. Once in 3rd grade, I got a huge A on mine, and my sis got a D-.
In the playground near a tree, we were sitting and playing. I said, "Hey, a C- is not that bad," and raised my hand up to give her a high five, but she left me hanging.
My teacher said, "I'm gonna leave soon, I don't want to be here anymore!" So I shot her.
We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.
Mom! Mom! My classmates called me an orphan!
A teacher in Scunthorpe asks a class what their favorite football team is, saying, "Raise your hand if it is Scunthorpe." Every student but one raised their hand. The teacher asks, "Why don't you support Scunthorpe?" The child answers, "My parents support Grimsby, and so do I." The teacher comes back with, "Why are you copying your parents? What if your mum was a prostitute and your dad a druggie?" The child answers, "Then I'd support Scunthorpe like you dirty bastards!"
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.
Why is Harry Potter an orphan's favorite character?
Because Harry Potter has no parents, so it’s relatable.
POV there’s a school shooting.
American: First time, European?
European: Yeah, you American?
American: No, not my first time.
I was at school today, and one of my friends said after a test, "Man, that was hard." After that, I started laughing and I said, "That's what she said."
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
Because he wanted to go to high school.