what did the pot say to the kettle? to lick the S### spoon
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
What did one Justin say to the other Justin? - Fuck you
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
What did the atom say to the positive in math class? "We could make a positive number!"
what did the atom say to the other atom? did you see the new Tron movie.
What did the Queen Bee say to the other bees? "Beehive yourselves!"
An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.
The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture. Tonya says, "I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3-year-olds."
What do you say to a one-legged hitchhiker?
Hop in.
What did the pedophile say to the nutcracker?
"Aren't you a little too young to be doing that?"
