Say jokes
If I went out with a dwarf, when I pick them up, I'll say, "Wassup short?"
What does Santa say for the toys to go to bed?
"Time to hit the sack!"
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? "HDMI."
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
What did Saturn say to Uranus? Hi.
What do you call crocodiles that don't say "swim" every day?
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Two chinamen walk into a bar. The landlord says, "Why the same face?"
Mickey Mouse went to a psychologist and told him, “I’m having problems with my girlfriend.”
The psychologist said, “You mentioned that you think she is crazy.”
He said, “I didn’t say she was crazy, I said she’s fucking Goofy!”
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
What did one tampon say to the other tampon when they walked by each other on the street?
Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts!
Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
You can't say Hitler was a bad person. He did kill Hitler after all.
What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved.
When younger girls say, "I want my period, or it will not be bad."
*eating chocolate in bed crying* My face at them when they say that. 🤣🙄😵
Them: "I got my period." *them hurting*. Me: "Told ya."