Romance jokes
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
I like my women like a day: 24 year olds. 24 hours of fun.
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
My sex life.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
*on a date*
me - "I get to work with animals all day."
her - "How sweet! What do you do?"
me - "I'm a butcher."
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.