Roll

Roll Jokes

Mom

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Panda

Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...

Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"

Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"

Toilet Paper

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

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  • Fart

    So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

    Woman

    Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.

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  • Girl

    This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."

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  • Song

    I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

    Asteroid

    When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

    98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

    1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

    Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!

    Cop car

    Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

    A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

    Fatty

    Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

    Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.

    Death

    He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

    Bunch

    What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?

    Abo-lanche.