People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
Roll Jokes
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
Roll your eyes back, you might find a brain back there.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
