i go 7u7 I sad i go 7u7 get rick and rolled my son
Keep Rolling you’re eyes and maybe you’ll find a brain back there
I know why stephen hawking loves transformers so much now.
Autobots, “Roll” Out.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”
Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.
What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?
How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!
How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.
What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.
What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.
What did the toilet paper say to the other toilet paper? Hey check me out I’m on a roll! 😂😂🤭🤭
a girl looked in the fridge she got mad that somebody at the last ice cream cone she ran into her sisters room and said this is why your fat the fell down the stairs good thing she had that belly roll to save her.
========================= (pre-election 2016) Trump Hating Comedian at seedy East L.A. comedy club -
"Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump… what the fuck up with that dude, man ?
“Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !)
. . . "I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for bein’ fucked up, for instance …
STUMP : TEENY DICK
BUMP : TINY TIT
GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY
MUMP : A FUCKED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE
LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA FUCKED
UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS
RUMP : AN ASS
DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS
HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD
PUMP : SEE “HUMP”
. . . and last, but definitely not least --
JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP VAT 'O SCAT MOTHER FUCKER, AND GO STRAIGHT TO
HELL BITCH !! …
HA!HA!HA!HA ! YESSS !!
… well boys and girls, that’s gonna be about it for me, as I think my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a big turn for the worse !"
…(splort !, plop !, drip !) … OOOOPS ! ‘snif, snif’ …
..... ewwwwww !! (audience growing uneasy and unruly)
"Fuhhk ! … I better go now , 'cause I just went ! … ha! ha! ha! … Yikes !!
GOOD NIGHT LAZIES, AND GERBILMEN ! PLEASE DRIVE RECKLESSLY !
(continuous laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants peeing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, fists fuckin’, guns poppin’, blood pumpin’)
"OH LORDY !!.. I THINK HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH,
… AND ARMAGITTIN’ THE FUCK OUTTA HEEE !!"
(one very quick curtain call, and swiftly out the back door to an awaiting taxi … with ALL the windows rolled down) Whew ! … Amen.
What do you call a gay drive by? A fruit roll up
one day I went skating and skated for so long that my feet were incredibly sore. It was like my skates were moving all by themselves but I decided to just roll with the situation
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes and every one is trying to shit on ya.
You’re momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
What do you call roller skates you can walk in? Wock n’ roll
What did the poop said to the toilet paper? “You’re in the roll!”
I got in touch with my inner self today, it’s the last time I use 1 ply toilet roll
What is harry potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking JK rolling.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper roll down the road
Why did the toilet roll roll down the hill? To get to the bottom
You wanna know why I hate circles so much? They’re just so pointless! But I guess that’s how they roll
I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it. I took some of the boo boo out licked it and and rubbed it on a wall making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and i saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.
My wife and I have been married over 30 years. But don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.