Riddle jokes
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Alright, riddle me this: I am loud and obnoxious, I like music that rhymes. I'm a fraction of the population, but commit half the crimes! What am I?
Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.
What am I?
Answer: a Riddle.
If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark.
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody nose.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What is big and bouncy and walks on stilts?
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What is a pig crossed with a pineapple?
A porkypine!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven is a registered sex offender.
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
There is a man in the hospital. The power went out, and the man was stabbed to death. There are three witnesses: the nurse who was with another patient, the doctor who was reading some paperwork, and The Who who was at the vending machine. Who killed the man?
The mom did, because you can’t use a vending machine when the power's out!
When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What runs but never stops?