Why do people think Mozart was autistic?
Because he was probably retarded.
What do you call a retarded Catholic?
Asperges.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Fuck off!
The doctor told me I was so retarded, I was required to ride two wheelchairs.
What did the Chinese family name their retarded kid? Something Wong.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What do you call a walkie-talkie for retards? -- A stumblie-mumblie.
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.
Why is flour retarded?
Because it's in-bread.
