20+ Restriction Jokes

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

My mom told me it's not healthy to stay in my room all day... but the only places I'm allowed to go to are my room and downstairs.

I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."

I feel sad for orphans. They can't watch Star Wars because it's parental guidance.

What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!

The image shows text that reads, "kids who died of dehydration because you can't drink until you're 21", above a skeleton laying on the ground.

A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."

I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.

Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.

...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.

Why does Japan not allow little boys to run?

Because the last time a little boy came, Japan lost a state.

How do you ground a person in a wheelchair?

Take off the wheels!

What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair

I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.

Q: Why can emos wear dog collars at school, but people can't wear hats? WTF school!

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.