Red jokes

Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?

A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

Roses are red, lilacs are purple, I have a turtle, his name is Squirtle.

Roses are red, Epstein's face turned blue.

Trump's on that list, And there's nothing he can do.

Roses are red, I failed my test, All because of Hugh and his incest.

I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.

Roses are red, so is my gun. Why do you ask? Because it's full of blood.

Which is redder: a baby or a red car? It depends on how the baby was killed!

Roses are red, my toaster too,

Oh shit, I've burnt the house down, what do I do?

Y'know, I never knew Obi-Wan Kenobi participated in an anime, "Snow White with the Red Hair," up until now.

Did you know Princess Diana's last dress she wore was white? But afterwards, it was red.

Why does fireman wear red suspenders?

To hold his pants up.

Roses are red,

I am dead.

You could call me wet, or I will keep your dread.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.

The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.

What’s black, white, and red all over?

An embarrassed biracial guy.

Roses are red, violets are purple, lay in my bed so I can suck your nurple.

Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.

Obi-Wan be like:

"To Darth Maul, lightsabers are blue, lightsabers are red. I cut you in half, why the fuck aren’t you dead?"