Depressed people are lame because they are just lame, no reason.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.
Passengers: *Clap*
Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.
Flight Attendant: And what is that?
Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*
Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---
Why can’t Helen Keller drive?
It’s because she’s dead.
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
"In my opinion, JFK was the best president."
"Why?"
"He was very open-minded!"
Why did I make this joke?
Because I love jokes!
Why is Santa so fat?
He only comes once a year.
Why did the cow cross the road?
'Cause he wanted to go to a moooooooooooooooooooooooovie.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
The only reason gay people exist is because they couldn't get the opposite gender.
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
Why did Bob go to the store? To bob for apples.
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
Hey guys, so we have a friend group and we need followers and people! So far it's me and Royal. If you want to join just comment why and you're in unless people have reasons to not want you!
Why are orphans so sad?
Because every time they swallow, they think... "You should have Mom."
Why are Helen Keller jokes so funny?
Because she’s blind and deaf.
