That time when you realise that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
I asked my now ex boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.
I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.
(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat so yeah 😂)
The brain named itself, and when the brain realised that it named itseld, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realised I was in a rape museum
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it it was quite strange until i realised it was Alfies mum
I braced my self when i got in the car but then i realised my wife wasnt driving
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell legalise and programme correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realises I've replaced the bed with a trampoline !
Ok so I have a joke for you,go look in the mirror and when you realise come back to me and tell me.
I saw ur forehead and realised ur mom and dads forehead were as big as urs also ur gay
My friend saw ur forehead and realised ur gay
I was doing a magic show, i tried to make a bunny disappear but it didn’t work. I walked outside in shame, i looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I was listening to some Drake in class. My teacher shouted to turn it off. She then exclaimed that “Drake is mid and his music is very Pessi” I didn’t understand the meaning until I checked the dictionary and realised it is a synonym for overrated
“I want to kill my family” -realises-
Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me so I stabbed her back then I realised she was the vaccine woman.
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after but then i realised that antidepressants don't make you OD.
