When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that:
A. Feminism is just a pile of dumb shit.
B. That men are actually treated unequally.
SO
we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.
Join us for more of the story, after the break!
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?
Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.
And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realized I was in a rape museum.
I was excited to watch Fast and Furious because of Dom Toretto, then I realized family is nothing to me 'cause I'm an orphan.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
Canada being the most educated country in the world is bemusing, considering that Canadians cannot spell "legalise" and "programme" correctly.
Oh, and most of them do not realise that it's day-month-year, NOT month-day-year.
Ok, so I have a joke for you, go look in the mirror and when you realize, come back to me and tell me.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming
My friend said I was gay but then I realised he was talking to the mirror
The brain named itself, and when the brain realised that it named itseld, it was surprised.
But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!
I constantly wonder how people can live happily ever after, but then I realized that antidepressants don't make you OD.
