Realisation Jokes

That time when you realise that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...

I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you're a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!

I was on the train today and saw a cow on it it was quite strange until i realised it was Alfies mum

Yea man! Life is wonderful! But, when u realise all of the ones u loved we're fake. And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice. Is 13 age too young for dying? Am i just paranoid? I'm scared.

If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?

I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel....

A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.

I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realised I was in a rape museum

i was exited to watch fast and furious because of Dom Toretto then i realised family is nothing to me cause im an orphan

When you think you're depressed but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self loating but then you realise that it in itself might actually be a symptom of depression

Well gang it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands

Ok so I have a joke for you,go look in the mirror and when you realise come back to me and tell me.

So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming

My friend said I was gay but then I realised he was talking to the mirror

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realises I've replaced the bed with a trampoline !

The brain named itself, and when the brain realised that it named itseld, it was surprised.

But maybe, it was a spelling mistake and the brain wanted the name Brian. We all have a little Brian in us!