I wish I could kill my family but you realise your an orphan



I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn’t fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn’t find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.


Agent Bird Shit

My friend said I was gay but then I realised he was talking to the mirror


Sub to Mike's Bakes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

He was just feeling like he needed a break, you know? Life is hard when you’re a rooster looking after your hen and chicks. He just wanted a sense of normality, walking out of the farm. He felt light-headed, staring into the distance. Then, at this very moment, he realised it was his darkest hour.

Join us for more of the story, after the break!



A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realised that toucan play a game.



So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day. After about 13 tries, I realised this was very time consuming



I bought a wooden whistle. I tried soo hard, but it wooden whistle. So I bought a steel one. It steel wooden let me whistle. Then I got a lead one. It steel wooden lead me whistle. Then I realised, they were flutes. So the wood lead me whistle if I did it correctly. Steel…



When you’re fucking your boss and realise it’s a family business



A boy asked his dad for a some money to buy an ice-cream with. So he went to an icecream van. Whilst he was in the queue 2 boys asked him what flavour he was getting he told them strawberry. The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The icecream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice-cream for free. When he got home his dad also asked what flavour he bought the boy said strawberry. His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy confused walked down the street and was stopped buy the police who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice-cream. The boy said thats me and the policeman arrested him. A week later in court the boy was on trial. The judge asked, ‘‘can you tell me what were you doing on the fith of may’’(the day he was arrested) the boy said I was eatimg ice-cream. Yhe judge decided he was innocent. On the way out the judge asked him what the flavour was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course he answered with strawberry the judge horrified realised he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately he couldn’t change what had happened so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died. The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road



If a man travels 14 miles to buy a loaf of bread, how long will it take for him to realise that living in the countryside is shit?



I was submitting this joke and i realised. Stephen hawking couldnt.

It had the recaptcha im not a robot



Hi, I was a feminist until I realised that A. Feminism Is just a pile of dumb shit

B. That Men are actually treated unequally.


we should all say sorry to the boys for pissing them off.



this one time i said that john cena looks like crap but i realised i cant see him LOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL



I went to China and said I have a big cock so they thought I said they look like a cock then I realised I said it in English



2 people about to have sex realise they have no lube. In their desperate, horny haste they looked for the nearest Downy and asked it " speak into my hand. "

Upon their return to the bed they regretted it immediately because his dick just stayed down…



For a while lead was used in pencils but … we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.


Oce orignal

A girl had black hair also i threw rubbish at to realise she wasnt a bin



Yo mama’s so poor I knocked on her front door of her house and realised I was already outside her backyard!


I very sad person

A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast. When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the toast god punch line, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man. The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles



Your walking on the street when you realised that your in the road as you feel the horn dying away.



When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor

My friend was like “that’s a huge sack of balls.”

He didn’t realise what was about to happen.

“Thats what she said”



That moment when you realise you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway



When I went to basketball training, there was a giant bag of basketballs on the floor

My friend was like “that’s a huge sack of balls.”

He didn’t realise what was about to happen.

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