Rape

Rape Jokes

Rape victim

Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?

Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.

Russian

Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:

1. USA was NEVER invaded!

2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!

3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!

4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.

5. We have more allies than you.

6. We are smaller but stronger.

7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!

Rapist

what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?

sue the dating site for matching her with him.

Short jokes

Why is it best to date suicidal women? Because if there's no pulse, there's no need for consent.

Suspicion

I got arrested on suspicion of attempted rape all because I was carrying some cable ties, a bit of tape and a piece of cloth. It's such a joke, I hadn't even bought the chloroform yet.

Rose

Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till you're asleep to rape you.

Incest

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

Exam

There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.

Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.

Rapist

90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

Rapist

How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.

Dog

I lost my dog. I probably shouldn't have named him "rape."

Relationship

My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.

Feminist

Why are feminist rape claims never taken seriously? Nobody wants to rape fat, hairy gorillas.

Daughter

How can all rape be prevented? Just teach your daughters to never say no to a man. There - fixed!

Feminist

How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.