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Dad: Where is my son?

Son: Come join me with musical chairs, except we stand on them.

Dad: Ok, so do we put this round our neck?

Son: YES!

Mum: AHHHHHHHHHHHH

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

Today my idiot brother screamed, "Ahhhhh, I'm dead!" But it wasn't really, so I decided to make it a reality until my sister came...

AND HELPED ME! - for once, but then two minutes later my mom showed up. We killed him right in front of her, and she screamed! "Donuts and pizza for you and more if you go to Mrs. Roberts' house and say hi and bye to Daddy!!!!!" And she hands us both a sharp tool, and I say, "What about Tommy??!!! Aren't you MAD!!!!!!!" Then she replied, "Who's THAT!!??? Coz he ain't mine. His name is Tommy, Tommy Roberts."

So then me and my sister visit Mrs. Roberts, and she said, "Oh, this isn't anything important. Go home!" So then my sister and I say hi! and do a countdown. After that my Nike white jumper had turned red! IT WAS A MUCH BETTER COLOUR, MUM SEEMED TO APROVE AS WELL! 😊😊😊 But then the police question us where daddy was, so then Mom said....................... oh he's moved on! So then the police officer was like, "Ahem, ma'm where!" SO THEN I BELLOWED.......................... UP - UR -A##. And we got let off the hook, then we moved oh and we k!lled the cop 2 and oh did i meantion we HAD a maid, and a landlord and a cat but they were all 2 annoying so we got rid of them and now our new backyard is very smellyyy and i dont think there is enoff space to put muummy anymore so now i dont think sissy will fit either🧐 i will ask my neibour nessy she'll obviously say YES or ill........................................

ok like for part two☺☺☺

Ariana Grande was in the store, and when she put her groceries on the counter, she said, "Thank you, next!"

Your mama so fat, when she asked for a water bed they put a blanket over the Pacific Ocean.

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    • Little Johnny's sister, Suzy, sees her mom in the shower and asks, "What is that between your legs?" Her mom responds, "That is my garage." The next day, Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day, Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands, Suzy?" Suzy says, "Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage, so I ripped its wheels off."

    Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

    Orphan joke protest! Orphans are nice and kind, so stop joking about them!

    Sign a comment and put me or anything else to protest about!

    Good luck, Jake.

    So uh, I did this thing where I put soap on my brother's toothbrush, and then I put more on and colored it to make it look like toothpaste, and uh, he is constipated now. I AM EVIL :3

    How do you put a baby in the blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

    How do you get it out? Tortilla chip.

    How do you put a baby in a blender feet first so you can see its facial expressions?

    How do you get the baby out? With a tortilla chip!

    The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.

    I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

    "Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

    Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

    I bet you $12345678901234567890 that you didn't read that number and you didn't notice that I put a letter in it. No, I didn't, but you went back and looked, didn't you?

    2nd comments from Gwen in her bra.

    Keie: Man Man man! I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    heyo: 👅🍑

    Bari: STOP U FUCKIN PEDOS!!!!!!!!!!

    Kenya Bailey: THAT IS ENOUGH! I AM REPORTING ALL OF THIS CRAP TO THE ADMIN!!!!!!!!!!!

    Remera Karwi: Shut up! We jus tellin her she looks like a star no need for all that "crap".

    Kenya Bailey: One guy put tongue and peach aka butt I know a little bit about oral sex my friend or not!

    I got banned from the library because I put the woman's rights book in the fiction section.

    Hi, this is a good prank I did.

    So, my brother LOVES his phone and so... I put it in the toilet and then flushed it, but it wouldn't go down. So, then I gave it to him and he threw it and then it broke. HAHAHAHAHAHA

    (Prankster, tell me if you don't like me doing pranks because it is your thing.)

    Bye guys! I hope you liked this prank! (And his phone did not really break, it just cracked really bad lol)