Newest Pull Jokes - Page 2 - Worst Jokes Ever

Ignore line & ovals

Faisal Saeed Al Mutar
20 hrs.
Like Page
It must be incredibly frustrating as an Islamic terrorist not to have your views
and motives taken seriously by the societies you terrorize, even after you
have explicitly and repeatedly stated them. Even worse, those on the
regressive left, in their endless capacity for masochism and self-loathing,
have attempted to shift blame inwardly on themselves, denying the terrorists
even the satisfaction of claiming responsibility.
It's like a bad Monty Python sketch:
"We did this because our holy texts exhort us to to do it."
"No you didn't."
"Wait, what? Yes we did..."
"No, this has nothing to do with religion. You guys are just using religion as a
front for social and geopolitical reasons."
"WHAT!? Did you even read our official statement? We give explicit Quranic
justification. This is jihad, a hely crusade against pagans, blasphemers, and
disbelievers."
"No, this is definitely not a Muslim thing. You guys are not true Muslims, and
you defame a great religion by saying so."
Huh!? Who are you to tell us we're not true Muslims!? Islam is literally at the
core of everything we do, and we have implemented the truest most literal
and honest interpretation of its founding texts. It is our very reason for being."
"Nope. We created you. We installed a social and economic system that
alienates and disenfranchises you, and that's why you did this. We're sorry."
"What? Why are you apologizing? We just slaughtered you mercilessly in the
streets. We targeted unwitting civilians - disenfranchisement doesn't even
enter into it!"
"Listen, it's our fault. We don't blame you for feeling unwelcome and lashing
out."
"Seriously, stop taking credit for this! We worked really hard to pull this off,
and we're not going to let you take it away from us."
"No, we nourished your extremism. We accept full blame."
"OMG, how many people do we have to kill around here to finally get our
message across?"

Parties when I pull up:

Why did Joe Biden pull out of the Afghanistan war?

Because it was over 18 years old

How do you know if a chick is too fat?

If you pull her pants down her ass still in them

What if I got pulled over by a cop and
just made this face the whole time

Why don’t old people have sex

When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old

Pulling up to the movie theater

2 guys in a car get pulled over by a cop. Cop taps the window, window rolls down. "goodevening gentlemen, we're looking for 2 pedophiles."

Guy quickly closes the window. 10 seconds later he lowers it again and says: "Ok, we'll do it."

A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"

What do you call a man with no arms or legs being pulled by a boat?

Skip.

I recently got pulled over by the cops and started spazzing out because of the police lights

He arrested me for impersonating Gorge Floyd. *I have seizures*

So one time I was with my girlfriend crazy right but we were doing a tictok eye fallow challenge and she pulled up a pick of where Stacy for in to the spider verse and I look some were I shouldn’t and she smacked me and I changed to the rock and you know where she looked wtf right in the no no square and since she was a girl all I could do was sit back and watch

Your so fat you have your own gravitational pull

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy. The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!"

Yo barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a plants vs zombies map and that shii fit perfectly

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug" you are letting it slowly die.

Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.

Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.

Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.