Problem jokes
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
So, a guy is taking a piss in a public bathroom. He looks over and sees a short guy with a very large green dick, who looks up at him and says, “Is there a problem, boyoh?”
“I’m sorry, it’s just that thing is huge, and why the hell is it green?!” The man replies, “I’m a leprechaun.”
“Really?” says the man.
“That’s right. And I’ll grant you three wishes if you let me stick it in your pooper.”
“Anything I want?! Three of them?” replies the man.
“Anything in your wildest dreams, boyoh, but you have to let me finish.”
The man bends over, and the leprechaun puts it in. Thrusting back and forth, he asks for the man’s first wish.
“I want a giant yacht!”
“Aye,” says the leprechaun. “It’s pulling into your own private harbor now.”
“For my second wish, I want a billion dollars,” the man says, beginning to sweat.
“Aye, it’s stacked inside the yacht waiting for you,” the leprechaun replies.
“Okay,” the man groans in pain. “For my final wish, I want this yacht to be full of beautiful women.”
“You betcha, boyoh,” says the leprechaun. “The girls are there waiting for you nooWWW,” as he lets out a moan of pleasure.
The man, exhausted and sore, says, “That was rough, but worth it for those wishes. Where do I go?”
The little man with the giant green dick, pulling up his pants, his accent now gone says: “Aren’t you a little old to be believing in leprechauns?”
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
A man once went to a doctor because his leg was turning blue.
The doctor said that his leg had to be amputated as it was getting poisonous.
The man then got plastic prosthetics.
Next day even the prosthetics started turning blue.
After much examination, the doctor found that the patient's pants were shedding color.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
I am really hot, but I hate water. What am I?
A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.
One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."
Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."
Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"
All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"
The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
Why can't an orphan make a YouTube channel?
'Cause they can't make it family friendly.
Pigeons can be annoying at times, especially when their bones get stuck in-between your teeth.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Today my toilet paper ran across the road, but it got stuck in the crack.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they don’t know where home is...
What is the difference between the human race and a leaky faucet?
Why do orphans not play sport?
Because they need parents' permission.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
Why can't orphans cross roads?
They don't have a parent to hold hands with.
Orphan: I want to kill my parents.
Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.
Why was the orphan so bad at baseball?
He couldn't find home.